The Silent Wonders

The beauty of life!

Life in general,seems like a very tedious task. Apparently,to most of this generation.
What is life,according to MANY people?

Life is - You getting a Degree,Getting a Job,Starting a Family And That's it.
How simple does that sound?

But you know what ? People are alive,but not many realize the importance of actually LIVING your life. They feel like they're living,but instead,they're just "existing".

People find it easier,to follow a laid out path rather than creating one.
Yes,Easy but oh-so-boring!

We've been brought up in such a society(anywhere on this planet),where we've been told to "exist" and make a "living" out of it!
Confusing,right? 

All i'm trying to say is,that if you aren't as fortunate to have parents,who are supportive of your dream,it doesn't mean "stop dreaming".
It means,"Go right ahead and ask yourself if your dream is capable of facing the world.".
NEVER,give up on your dream. Your dream is YOU. And YOU,as an individual,are very important.

Coming to the "Silent Wonders".
As you all know, That i've been through quite a bit in these past 5 months.
I've come to learn so much,experienced so much,been on a rollercoaster of emotions. 

To be honest,i gave up on "faith". In mostly everything. But i didn't give up on "hope", (No idea why)
On July 24th,I actually felt like i'd never "FEEL" the smile on my face.

Now,faking a smile,is easy. I kept telling my mom,"I'm gonna fake a smile. Someday,it may turn real."
I kept saying,but i didn't believe it. I guess i kept saying it,so that my mom would atleast try smiling. 
Yes, for 4 months,i faked a smile. I never let anyone feel like i was faking it. It just became a part of my daily routine. 



And now,here i am,5 months later. 
And for the first time,i can actually feel the smile on my face. I see things becoming better for mom and me. 
I see Hope,i see Happiness,i feel that i should get back to having faith in even the tinniest of things.

I have only a few people to thank for this new found happiness in my life. And believe me,if it weren't for them,i wouldn't have risen to where i am today. Thankyou lovies <3

P.s.- Stay Strong, Hold on,Keep Faith,Believe in it all. Don't give up,Stand tall,You never know,until you climb over that wall! 
Let love in <3

That Man.

Have you ever felt your heart sink?
Have you ever,just stood there,staring at someone?
Have you ever frozen in the most unimaginable place?
I have.

For starters,today's a sunday! *YAY*
But i woke up at 7 *sigh*.
I got up and i had to get a few groceries. 
Now,many of you may not know this, but i have this huge convenient store right below my building. So,it pretty much makes my task easier.

Now,i might have spoken earlier about,how many indians are pretty daft.
Today,the limit just crossed the line.

I went hunting for Peanut Butter *Yum much!*
Now,i usually just pick up stuff,pay and leave.
But today,i couldn't locate this,for whatsoever reason.

I asked one of these people,who work at the store,and i got one of the most stupefying response i've EVER heard in my life.
I asked this lady,"hey,Where can i find Peanut Butter?"
She didn't direct me to any aisle. Instead,she responded by saying,"  OH! The butter is right over there. Next to the milk." 
I didn't argue with the lady,cuz i was still shocked. 
I mean,i wanted to laugh so bad,but i was just so shocked! xD

So i made my way through this crowd,still in search of "peanut butter".
And then,i saw someone .
I saw a 6'1 tall( approx.) man,with skinny legs,a round belly,and a lil salt and pepper mustache.
I froze. I just stood there,and breathed very,very slowly. 

There he was. A tall man,who reminded me of my father. SO MANY similar attributes. I'd say about 90% of that man,looked like my dad( although,my dad had a fair complexion.)
I didn't know what to do at that point of time.
My heart was literally sinking. I couldn't move a muscle. And all of a sudden,outta no where,i gasp for air,and i said,"DAD!". 
Thankfully,that man had walked away. But yeah. That's what happened.
I couldn't concentrate any more,on anything. 
I walked out of the store,and it was cold. I just kept walking. I wasn't able to say anything,but i knew,on the inside,all i could say was,"DAD"
Over and over again,like a stuck tape recorder.
And honestly, i didn't know what to do.

I know this post is really long,and i don't even know how it's supposed to help you.
But,i sorta wanted to share this.
I mean,all it takes is one matchstick to light a fire.
P.S-Recovering.

The Love-Hate Theory

This Theory is probably something most of us choose to ignore!

Yes,the love-hate theory(sounded better than "the Hate-Love" theory)
I don't know about most of you,or any of you for that matter of fact,but personally,i tend to love things over a period of time! 

For instance, I hated my innova. Now,i love it. 
Initially, i liked chelsea,and hated Manchester United. 
As time passed,i lost interest in the game.
When i got back,i started supporting United!

The top i hated yesterday,looks good on me today,so i love it.
*SIGH*
I suppose that's how life is,right?

You hate this thing,and you end up loving it.
Most of us,love our beds and televisions sets. I DO TOO!

You know,about a year ago,i started gymin'.
I wasn't regular,cuz i was oh so distracted by life and it's amazing wonders.
And then,life hit me with a bang. And Boom. 
Lost control.

You know,although this love-hate theory is pretty real. Sometimes,you just need to cut loose.
I mean,you step back,and watch the world pass by.

But there comes a day,when you get a grip.
You divert your focus towards something,that you not particularly "hate",nor "love".
This thing,usually is for the best.
Now,i hated gymin. HATED. For obvious reasons. I mean,not seeing results,trips you over,like a cat. 
But you know,for a while now,i've been kinda regular and i've started "liking" it.
I mean,think about it. If regular,there are more pros,and very minimalistic cons.

Hopefully,i'll start loving it someday.

Point being,in this "love-hate" theory,its better if we start focusing towards loving what we hate.
It may be a materialistic object,a person or even a game.
It's pointless hating things,yeah?!

So here i am,1st dec. This is me. And soon enough,you shall see changes in me. 
Hoping for the best!
#Focus.

New Leaf !!

So,life hasn't been at its best lately.
But to be honest,there comes a time,when you get completely TIRED of all the morose.
Yes, i know. 
This probably sounds weird,coming from me.
But then again,coming from me,it shouldn't sound weird.

I've been through so much in these 4 months. 
Morose,fear,pain,loneliness,nights filled with tears and horrid dreams.
I still think of the past and shed tears.
But i've come to realize,that when a caterpillar completes its metamorphosis,the butterfly can't go back to what it was,right?
It can't pray all day,wish everyday,to go back in time and live in its protected shell. 

You can't just go back in time.
All you can do,is embrace the past and look forward to making a better future.
Yes,there's no turning back.

Make a change,Take on something new. 
Take on something old,that you once refused to complete. Take up something and put your heart and soul into it. 
Do it. Smile through the rough patches that you face now on. They'll be worth it someday.
And let go off of your past 

Life is as empty and broken as this window. But it's still in your hands,it's your choice. If you like,you could let it be as is,and not improve upon  it,or you can fix it,and look at what a marvelous improvement you've contributed to! The latter is definitely better. Try making a change. Challenge yourself. Go beyond your limits. And never give up ! xx

To Aishwarya.

On the 12th of November(exam time,ugh.),i got a text from one of my close friends.
"My dad passed away."
To be honest,i froze when i read those words on my screen. 
A flashback,of how i sent out texts to all my bestfriends. 
Losing your dad,when you're daddy's lil girl,pretty much sucks.
I cannot even begin to tell you the intensity of pain and suffering you go through.

Your mind starts playing games,illustrating illusions,that yes,he's around.
Even after you see your dad there,lying breathless....,soulless.

I immediately called up my friend. For obvious reasons,she didn't receive my calls.
After trying to get in contact for a while,i decided to go over.
On my way over,i could feel the pain she must have been going through.
It's one thing when you sympathize,but it's completely different when you know how it feels to be in the person's shoes.

I reached her place and there was still no sign of her. We found out what had happened.
Her dad passed away because of an accident.
When i heard that,i was stupefied.
I immediately left for my place. On my drive back,i got into some major thinking.
I thanked my stars i saw my dad's body practically unharmed.
I would have fainted if i saw my dad,with scars,and blood all over.
To see your father,lying there,with his eyes closed - Knowing for a fact,that he'll never open his eyes,never hug you,never kiss you,never fight with you,never kid around........,practically kills you. 
Yes,you become a part of the living dead,and here life leaves you with two options. Either you become a living vegetable,or take some time off,and get back on your feet.

My friend called me around 12. I didn't want to ask her how she was,but i wanted to make sure she ate something. People,let's get this straight,do not say the following things to a person when they lose a family member:
1.Everything will be alright : No,it won't. It "may",and right now,don't let us think about it. We would like to grieve.
2.How are you? : Well,i'm certainly not alright. If my eyes don't give away that,go get specs.
3.We're there for you. : The BIGGEST LIE ON THIS PLANET.
I remember a friend telling me she'd meet me everyday. No sign of her since the night i lost my dad.
Please,for christ's sake,don't go around saying things you can't live upto. Especially a person who is so vulnerable at the moment.

I spoke to her,and i was shivering. You know,for a moment,i could actually feel like i was talking to myself. Me,about 3 months back,sounding like that.
And i know this girl well enough to say,that she needs someone to get her through this. 
Someone beyond family. When i was going through this,a part of me started recovering cuz my dad made me strong enough. But here,i told her,"Aish,i promise you i'll get you through this."

You know words,are supposed to be pacifiers. No,they're not. Believe me.
People go around saying a billion things,but they don't even matter.
But i know what she's going through and i know it's bloody hard. If it weren't for willpower,pinterest, and blogging,friends,i'd probably would've gone insane. The bad types.
Going into a depression and coming out of it,is a bloody tremendous task. 

I'd like to end my very lengthy(apologies) blog post by saying:
Dear God,Please bless my dear friend's, father's soul. She did love him the most. And she was the apple of his eye. Please gimme strength to get her through this,because i want her to heal. Uncle,i'm sure my dad will keep you company.
Daddy,take care of yourself and uncle.
Love you dad. God bless you uncle.
Amen.

  Flowers fall,They wilt,and Fade. Just like the Perishing body with what we came.

Hopes,Dreams,Aspirations!

We're all doing something that we are keen about. You know,as you're growing up,people say,"Do what makes you happy.","Take up extra curricular",etc.

As we start becoming young adults,we're treated like horses.
Yes,Horses. We start getting tamed by adults who think they know what's best for you.
I've come across people who are being pressured by parents ,into becoming Doctors,Lawyers,etc.
Yes,it still happens in today's world.
Our country still comprises of parents who tell their children one of these three things:
1. Government Servant.
2. White Coat.
3. Black Coat.

Yes,i do believe that every parent wants a secure future for their child.
But temme one thing, is it worth doing something that you don't put your heart into?

A good friend of mine,wanted to go to a University in London,to pursue Performing Arts.
To be honest,i'd not really come across someone as passionate as him. His zeal,Enthusiasm that was felt towards his passion,was more than inspiring.
But,i suppose no one could stop reality from taking over.
His father refused and he was supposed to pursue a degree in management and join his dad.

Yes, Business is a pretty safe option,but i saw his heart break when his father refused to let him pursue his passion.

I know most of us want to pursue careers that involve our passion! Singing,Dancing,Football,Art,Gymnastics,Tennis,Photography,etc.
But we are usually told to be more practical in life. 
Why? Why do we have to be "Practical".

I mean,aren't singers doing well. Aren't dancers and artists,and Photographers securing their future ?!
Why do parents,especially in a country such as ours,want us to become standard things?

If you're a parent,and you're reading this, LET your child decide what he\she wants to do!
You may watch your child fail,fall,tumble. But at the end of it,your child will learn and grow from this experience!

If you're a child,and you're reading this, TAKE a STAND for what you believe in.
You don't live to impress others. You must learn ,that you live to impress yourself!
Believe that if you fail today,you can try again and succeed tomorrow.

I'm a lucky child to have got the opportunity to dream big and pursue whatever i like. And i'm grateful to my parents for always being supportive of my decisions.

So,take a step today! Make a move towards what you really desire. 
People may shun your ideas and call you a complete nutcase.
But then again,all the people who started from the bottom and reached the top,were wackos at first !
Haha,Peace! 

A Friend Indeed!

"I won't always be around"
This is what my bestfriend told me about two days ago.

I sat down,for about three straight hours and thought about it.
All of us are not emotional. I know people who are thick skinned,people who learn the art of hiding their feelings,killing them; People who face things in life that make them strong enough to avoid emotional drama.
But there are two sides to a coin.
There are people who are highly sensitive,they get emotional very quick;it takes 1 second for them to turn sad.

You can't avoid all this. This is a part of everyone's life.
To be honest, i was a semi emotional person...till i lost my father.
I realized that i could behave however i wanted because i knew,that my father is there to cushion me with happiness. 
I mean,i'd run to him if someone said something and he always knew the right words to say.
Since i know he isn't around,i've become less emotional.
Cuz i honestly don't know who to look up to when i do something wrong,or someone says something to me. Mom is there,true. But you know,dad and i shared a bond.

So the other night,when my best bud said that he wasn't always going to be there for me,i got down to some thinking.
You can't always hold on to a person. No matter how close you are to that person,no matter how many friends say they will stand by you "ALWAYS",no matter how many say "i'm just a call away",At the end of the day,it's only you who's gonna look in that mirror in your room,you who's gonna sleep alone in bed,you who's gonna travel to places alone and it's only you who you have forever.

To be honest,that night when he said it,i was devastated. 
But now that i think about it,i realize that he was there with me ever since i lost my dad.
He was the one i looked up to for guidance.
And probably today,i realized so much because of him.
I'm glad he said that  to me ,cuz not many people speak the truth and not many people have the strength to accept the harsh fact of life.

How many people do you think you'll be in touch with after you graduate?
And if you do,how many will you meet?
Think about it,not many.
So,i know i have a long journey. And that i can look up to him for guidance,but i need to be strong enough,become wise enough to stand my decisions with complete firmness.
Thankyou for the lesson,my friend.
God bless!