Choose,cuz you have the choice

Pain.

Agonizing pain.
Have you ever felt like you're gonna fall and not be able to get back up?
Have you ever felt like pain rushing all over your body?
Have you felt,at any point of time,that the agonizing pain and suffering,seems worse than death itself?!

Well,i have.
Not to exaggerate,but i've gone through such pain for the second time.
Last Sunday,i felt immense pain in my body. My left kidney,to be precise(but i was completely unaware about the fact that it was my kidney causing the pain)
The pain completely took over me. I couldn't lie down,couldn't eat,could only puke,and walking decreased the pain. But because i kept vomiting,i had no energy left.

I got two injections,which i don't think,really helped me.
The following morning,my pain subsided.(AMEN)
But cuz it was a kidney stone and it came out without surgery,an infection spread and i became weak.
I caught the cold,and the fever that i obtained,was rather very fluctuating,that too to the high borders.
Saline bottles,injections,antidotes..so many things that i've come across,that i never had.

I got home 2 days ago. What an eventful week. 
My point is,that in all of this,i've realized something. Something big.

Pain is something we all are bound to go through. Sometimes pain,gets amplified and the only escape out of it all,is either to run away,or give up your life.
But there's always two ways to a situation,as there are two sides to a coin.
You can choose to be anything you want- Brave & Strong OR Daring yet Cowardly.
At the end of the day,what you need to realize is,that you are the one who is going to live that journey. Your decision may influence people or even try to traumatize them. But you're the one who's going to be affected the most.

Start caring for yourself. Tell yourself,everyday,that it's you who's living your life. Live it,don't end it. 
Face pain,horror,suffering. At least you won't regret it.

Grow! Form and Grow

ANXIETY. 


A very strong word and an even stronger emotion.
Most of us aren't cognizant enough to realize it or face it.
So is this one emotion given so much importance?

Anxiety,in lay man's language is basically "FEAR".
Before we do anything in life,anything at all. Be it as simple as crossing the road,or as complicated as driving up a hill in the middle of a downpour.

Yes,it's pretty natural to feel this emotion.
I remember how confident i was,about my singing. But right before i had to go up on stage,a billion thoughts would cross my mind. "Would i choke? What if i faint? Or barf? Or forget the words? What if people don't like it?" et cetera,are just a few examples.

Stats state,that it is natural to feel fear before doing anything.
During the summer of 2012,i went through the worst case of anxiety.
Getting into college. YES!
The thing is,you're under a lot of pressure. Pressure of scoring well,making parents proud,getting into the desired college,scholarship,approval of many things,SAT /GMAT scores,et cetera !
Yes, I know there are a billion people out there,who probably aim for the same thing,and that,in a very small percentage lowers your chance of attaining your desired goal.
But you know,no one great reached anywhere they are,without anxiety.

Yes,as much as we think of it as a demotivating factor,we must also try to look at it as a morale booster.
Sure,your destination is something a lot of people would like to acquire. But what makes you unique? Your confidence! Your confidence doesn't only mean what you show to the world.
Look inside. Keep telling yourself you're confident and worthy of what you want.
Instead of looking for materialistic things or people's reviews on lowering your anxiety levels,tell yourself you're so capable that no one can take away what you've got your eyes on.

"Fear is good. It means you're aiming at something big. Confidence is a friend. Learn to believe in yourself. Words can pacify you for the moment,but only you have the power to kill your fears."

Go ahead,stay strong. Become so confident of yourself,that the world sees you in a good light.
Peace xx

Make Memories Count !

You never understand pain,until you face it.
You never understand grief,until you go through it.
You never understand hell,until you breathe in it.
And You never understand life,until you live it.

Today,i understood the meaning of this statement. 
I truly understood it.
"You take things for granted when you know they're around. Only when they're gone,do you really feel the loss."

I sat through a treacherous class today(nothing new). And suddenly,my phone flashed,and for a moment,i could have sworn it said "Dad"(incoming call).
I immediately reached out to pick up my phone and realized it was my grand father calling.

I realize that most of you out there,may not live with your parent/parents.
For your own reasons - maybe cuz your parents split,or you felt like going you seperate way,or just cuz you don't want your parents in your hair.
Most of you out there don't talk to your parents,don't communicate. And unfortunately when you do,it's either about money or permission for something.

What most of you don't realize is,that you have the privilege to pick up your phone,at anytime of the day,and talk to your parent.
Most of us(boys/girls),mostly look up to our dads for advice.
And most of you are certainly privileged to be able to do that.

I've come across people who despise their fathers - For their own reasons. But you know the occasional "Hey dad,how you doin'? Yeah,i'm Good too. Well,...I miss you. K,ummmm.....Take care,alright?! Bye!",never gets old. And you kinda like the fact that you have a dad behind you when you need him.

It's been about 50 days. No,doesn't feel like it. I can still feel him calling out my name and asking me to hug him. I can still feel that kiss on my forehead before he left. I still remember our telephone conversations like it was just yesterday i asked him to let me take the car out. And it feels like just yesterday that i kissed his forehead for the last time,before he left.

Many of you take this real lightly. And i know many of you are detached children. Well, you're missing out on quite a bit. 
Start today,get to know your parent/parents.
It's never too late to learn about them and their past.
Eighteen years weren't quite enough for me to get to know my dad.
Unfortunately,i have no choice but to live without him.
But if you don't,go get to know your parent. Spend a lil extra time with them,for when they leave you and go away,probably you may not have memories.
So go,smile,eat icecream,and make memories with your family.
Blessed be xx
 

Focus On The Now

We live in a world filled with happiness,love,war & despair.
We come across a million kinds of people - arrogant,asinine,dreamers,believers,realists,etc.

But you know what kind of problem we all face?
The present!

Most of us either live in the past,or in the future.
Sounds silly,doesn't it? 
But believe me,most of us live our lives by this very statement,which should be counted as a fact!

Do not dwell in the past,
 do not dream of the future,
 concentrate the mind on the present moment.
-buddha

So most of us can't let go off the past,and most of us can't wait to reach our future.
Ask yourself,why?
Why does your present not impress you so much that you either prefer to appreciate it when it becomes the "past" and you look at it from your "future".
I hear a lot of people saying "live in the moment",but fail to do so.
Sad. Go out,and do what makes you smile.
Don't wait for tomorrow!
Think of it this way,If you get icecream,and you don't have a freezer,it'll melt if you don't eat it.
Do you expect it to wait till tomorrow without melting? NO.

See,we all have a common problem which is "we think we have time,but we actually don't."
You never know what tomorrow will bring you. Death may knock you out unconscious even before you could say "give me another chance."
It isn't only death,bad fortune,ill will,et cetera,can strike any moment.

Biggest example is this:
"when we're kids we dread going to school and being a child. We're in complete awe of adults and the way they live their so called 'carefree' lives. But when we actually reach that stage,we realize that our overprotected,sheltered past was something we truly should have valued more at that time."
You can't go back to the past,and you can't waste today running behind the faint possibility of tomorrow being better.
Live in the now,make the most of it.
Make a strong imprint. 
Smile everyday,and yeah, appreciate the life you have.
Yours may seem bad at the moment,but its always darkest before the dawn.
Peace xx 

Shake it off

Ever since my father departed for heaven,i've been lost.
True,no one can blame me though.
As far as everyone knows,i've been a tough nut all through the way.
No,it isn't easy. Yes,i'm doing my best.

No one stated that 'Life would be a bitch.'
How unfortunate. If only it came with a structured,specific user manual,how delighted would we all have been.
Yes,uncertain events,when happy,are pretty much appreciated.
But we're forgetting something.
The equation of happiness lies within.
Life apparently,isn't "Right" without something bad happening.
And if we oft see,we find that most of the good things are just an illusion.
Reason being,we base our lives too much on unmeaningful problems.
We base our lives on meaningless,pointless drama.
You know for all of us,our bad days usually involve not coming first,not getting the promotion,the girl/boy says no,she stopped talking to you,etc.
Sure,these are problems.
But we're limiting it to ourselves aren't we.

We need to realize that there are dozens of people out there who have not even a fraction of what you take for granted.
People out there struggle for their daily meals,and here we waste our food.
We complain about how soft this sweater should be,and people out there are lying out in the cold,with barely any clothes on.
See how bad that is?


Believing in the skies,looking up for answers,praying to a particular deity,all seem to have lost their meaning ever since. 
How would you feel if someone you looked upto,was snatched right away from you. With the very high possibility of never seeing them again.
Sad,huh?
 Yes,i feel cheated ,betrayed and harmed.
But today,as i look upon my life,i feel comforted.

The grief and sorrow for the loss of my father,may never go. 
It may be sidetracked,but a part of me will always want him back.
But i look today and see,that i still have a parent,a gorgeous house,loving friends,and everything one could ask for.
And i appreciate it,cuz someone else out there may be going through the same,but may not be provided the same comfort.

So i've learned that,
It isn't the Problem that's the reason for your unhappiness.
It's the way you perceive it.
Problems are always bad. But if you take something and try to turn it into good,you're sparing yourself the torture of being unhappy.
Start by killing your negativity,and see the positives in every situation.
If you allow happiness into your life,only then would it try to comfort you.

And believe me,if i can say this after i've lost my dad,then it probably is true.
For me to be going through all that i am,and still trying to live my life,then yes,it's probably true.

So go,spare yourself the torture and make yourself happy! xx