So,life hasn't been at its best lately.
But to be honest,there comes a time,when you get completely TIRED of all the morose.
Yes, i know.
This probably sounds weird,coming from me.
But then again,coming from me,it shouldn't sound weird.
I've been through so much in these 4 months.
Morose,fear,pain,loneliness,nights filled with tears and horrid dreams.
I still think of the past and shed tears.
But i've come to realize,that when a caterpillar completes its metamorphosis,the butterfly can't go back to what it was,right?
It can't pray all day,wish everyday,to go back in time and live in its protected shell.
You can't just go back in time.
All you can do,is embrace the past and look forward to making a better future.
Yes,there's no turning back.
Make a change,Take on something new.
Take on something old,that you once refused to complete. Take up something and put your heart and soul into it.
Do it. Smile through the rough patches that you face now on. They'll be worth it someday.
And let go off of your past
Life is as empty and broken as this window. But it's still in your hands,it's your choice. If you like,you could let it be as is,and not improve upon it,or you can fix it,and look at what a marvelous improvement you've contributed to! The latter is definitely better. Try making a change. Challenge yourself. Go beyond your limits. And never give up ! xx
On the 12th of November(exam time,ugh.),i got a text from one of my close friends.
"My dad passed away."
To be honest,i froze when i read those words on my screen.
A flashback,of how i sent out texts to all my bestfriends.
Losing your dad,when you're daddy's lil girl,pretty much sucks.
I cannot even begin to tell you the intensity of pain and suffering you go through.
Your mind starts playing games,illustrating illusions,that yes,he's around.
Even after you see your dad there,lying breathless....,soulless.
I immediately called up my friend. For obvious reasons,she didn't receive my calls.
After trying to get in contact for a while,i decided to go over.
On my way over,i could feel the pain she must have been going through.
It's one thing when you sympathize,but it's completely different when you know how it feels to be in the person's shoes.
I reached her place and there was still no sign of her. We found out what had happened.
Her dad passed away because of an accident.
When i heard that,i was stupefied.
I immediately left for my place. On my drive back,i got into some major thinking.
I thanked my stars i saw my dad's body practically unharmed.
I would have fainted if i saw my dad,with scars,and blood all over.
To see your father,lying there,with his eyes closed - Knowing for a fact,that he'll never open his eyes,never hug you,never kiss you,never fight with you,never kid around........,practically kills you.
Yes,you become a part of the living dead,and here life leaves you with two options. Either you become a living vegetable,or take some time off,and get back on your feet.
My friend called me around 12. I didn't want to ask her how she was,but i wanted to make sure she ate something. People,let's get this straight,do not say the following things to a person when they lose a family member:
1.Everything will be alright : No,it won't. It "may",and right now,don't let us think about it. We would like to grieve.
2.How are you? : Well,i'm certainly not alright. If my eyes don't give away that,go get specs.
3.We're there for you. : The BIGGEST LIE ON THIS PLANET.
I remember a friend telling me she'd meet me everyday. No sign of her since the night i lost my dad.
Please,for christ's sake,don't go around saying things you can't live upto. Especially a person who is so vulnerable at the moment.
I spoke to her,and i was shivering. You know,for a moment,i could actually feel like i was talking to myself. Me,about 3 months back,sounding like that.
And i know this girl well enough to say,that she needs someone to get her through this.
Someone beyond family. When i was going through this,a part of me started recovering cuz my dad made me strong enough. But here,i told her,"Aish,i promise you i'll get you through this."
You know words,are supposed to be pacifiers. No,they're not. Believe me.
People go around saying a billion things,but they don't even matter.
But i know what she's going through and i know it's bloody hard. If it weren't for willpower,pinterest, and blogging,friends,i'd probably would've gone insane. The bad types.
Going into a depression and coming out of it,is a bloody tremendous task.
I'd like to end my very lengthy(apologies) blog post by saying:
Dear God,Please bless my dear friend's, father's soul. She did love him the most. And she was the apple of his eye. Please gimme strength to get her through this,because i want her to heal. Uncle,i'm sure my dad will keep you company.
Daddy,take care of yourself and uncle.
Love you dad. God bless you uncle.
Amen.
Flowers fall,They wilt,and Fade. Just like the Perishing body with what we came.
Life is as empty and broken as this window. But it's still in your hands,it's your choice. If you like,you could let it be as is,and not improve upon it,or you can fix it,and look at what a marvelous improvement you've contributed to! The latter is definitely better. Try making a change. Challenge yourself. Go beyond your limits. And never give up ! xx
