#2.

They say a single moment can change your entire life. Not just your life, but the way you live, behave, respond, think..... basically each and every aspect that makes you "YOU", changes.

These moments are "Life altering". 
They don't knock on your door, or give you any sort of warning. They come as they like, and stay for a minimal amount of time.

A moment is very sudden, but the impact it makes could change everything - momentarily or forever.

Today, two years ago to be exact, I had one such life altering moment.
And, I have changed ever since. My Priorities, goals, my perception of life and people, all changed.

When something hits you bad, you feel like your whole world is crashing right in front of your eyes. And, you feel like a victim, which you are.

But, life always gives you two choices. Either you give up, and let your life take over. Or stand up, and fight every single thing that comes in your way bravely.

Exactly two years ago, I decided to take the second option and face the world on my own.

Yes, i've made it. I'm a survivor.
But, I miss him, I miss him so much. So I've got a little something right here, for my gorgeous angel in heaven.

"They say there is a reason,

They say that time will heal,

But neither time nor reason, 

Will change the way I feel.

For no-one knows the heartache,

That lies behind my smile,

No-one knows how many times,

I have broken down and cried.

I want to tell you something,

So there won't be any doubt.

You're so wonderful to think of,

But so hard to live without."

I miss you, Mr. Malik.
I love you so very much. I still feel your presence.

The Detox Session

So, I know I haven't written anything in months!
I know I'm at fault, cause I was doing absolutely nothing, but I was sort of lost.

Well, I've graduated!
Given my finals, won a few awards at the ceremony, and now, I'm officially,as they say, "A FREE BIRD".

But, as much as I've been looking forward to this freedom, I did actually spend the last few months wondering what I'm going to do after I get done with the whole college routine.

Yes, apparently, with freedom, comes a whole bunch of responsibilities.
And, these responsibilities tend to overwhelm you with fear, joy, happiness, excitement, anxiety, and other strong emotions.
And, what's the best way to get away from all these overwhelming emotions ?
A DETOX SESSION.

So, what did I do?
Caught a plane, and went to the south. I decided to go alone, because I needed time to deal with these feelings.

I went back to the place where I grew up - Wellington.
You see, when you visit your past, not only do you remember who you were, but you see how much you've grown.
You get time, to let go of the appearance you display to the world. Here, it's just you, and your solidarity.
And, when you're alone, your thoughts can either kill you, or strengthen you.

I went to wellington. Woke up every morning at 7, and went for a run.
As much as I loved the greenery and the gorgeous sunlight, the fluffy clouds that looked like they were about to blanket you, I realized I was scared.
And this was my way of escaping reality. It was as if, when I was at wellington, the entire world had stopped. I literally, didn't have any communication other than the people who were present in wellington itself.
And everytime, something unpleasant happened, I'd put on my shoes, and walk out of my house.

You see, everyone has a way of releasing their anger, or frustration, or fear.
Some choose violence, some choose punching a bag, or a wall, or a person, some choose the gym, some choose aimlessly wandering in the woods. And that is exactly what I did.
I walked into every wood I could locate (I saw marvelous bisons as well!)

But, in all the time that I spent walking, I figured out what it was that was making me fear these responsibilities.
Having lost my childhood early, made me realize that I took on responsibilities earlier, and that I wasn't scared of it, I was just unhappy. A part of me, is still the 18 year old brat, but a part of me knows, I can never be that 18 year old again.

And, there it was. I figured it out.
And then, I realized I had to let go. I went to a cliff, that overlooked a gorgeous valley, and surrendered.
I believe in fate.
I had nothing to be worried about. I let go of all my worries and fears, and sorrow.
And then, I felt light. I felt like I was a cloud, floating, because I was light.

It's then that I realized, Life can get tough, it can get rough, it can get you down, and it can rub your face into the ground. But, you just need to release it, and let go.
For me, it's wellington. The place I feel free, and feel I can let go and get back to normal.
There, I'm not answerable for my actions. I just aimlessly wander off. It's a place where I can reconnect not only with nature, but with myself.

They say, you lose a part of yourself, everytime you meet someone.
And, the only way I could regain myself, was to spend endless amounts of time, with me.
Bantering about the past, eagerly waiting for the future, living in the presnt.

 This is my detox place. This is my yearly medicine. This is the place I feel rejuvenated.


And, my selfie game is totally on point there!

Stay blessed, stay happy. Find your detox place, and let go!

Just Breathe

Hey there!
I hope each and every one of you are doing well.
Well, since my last blog post, i've taken the back seat in life. 
I have done absolutely nothing, and by absolutely nothing, I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. 
HAHA!

Other than the unproductive month, I have come to realize something. 
People envy you, when you have time on your hands.
See, everyone is busy running around, doing errands, getting to work, running around for work, college, etc.
And, here i am, sitting at home, in my air conditioned room, watching rom-coms, various tv shows, and not giving a damn in life x).

Other than the obvious relaxation time, I got a tattoo :D
So, I got the quote, "C'est La Vie", with a crown next to it, inked on my arm. 
"C'est La Vie", is a french quote that stands for "That is life / Such is life."

I'm sure many of you may wonder, "Why would anyone get a french quote tattooed on their arm?!"
Well, as funny as it may sound, in every situation i've been through over the past 21 months, i've never failed to use these words.
I suppose that is the power of words, right ?
The lesser they are, the more weight-age their meaning carries.

I won't enforce this on anyone, but honestly, the next time you're in a pickle, or you feel your plans aren't going according to your expectations, just breathe, and say, "C'est La Vie."
You wanna know why ? 
Cause these three words, can give you inner peace and solace in just seconds.
When you realize, that this is life, such is life. 
Things don't go according to plans, they follow their own course. 
The better you feel when you forgive and let go.

So, C'est la vie, boys and girls. Don't sweat it. Just take a deep breath, and let go ! 

P.S.- I'll be getting more tattoos done. Keep you posted.
Love and blessing xx

Never alone

“You’re right.
I don’t know what it’s like to be a part of the crowd.
I don’t know what it’s like to be unloved.
I don’t know what it’s like to look at a building and want to throw yourself off it.
I don’t know what it’s like to drink until you can’t remember why you started drinking.
But, I sure as hell know what it’s like to feel as if you’re drowning in your own tears.
I know what it’s like to be in so much pain, the only relief you get is by ripping apart your own skin to watch the blood trickle away.
I know what it's like to be hit and broken.
I know what it's like to have everything you love, be taken away from you right in front of your eyes.
I know what it’s like to shut down and give up.
To disappear.
To feel...
Dead.
I know.
Because, that was me.
But, I rose from the pain. 
Started anew.
So don’t ever think you’re alone.
Because you’re not the only one.” 

So, I wrote this down with a few people in mind. Many of us go through traumatic things in life.
Some of us, may go through miniscule things and yet, that could be considered the most traumatic thing for you.
There are times you'd like to shut everyone out, get away, runaway, hide. 
There are times you'd like to end it all and give it up, in one shot.

For all of those going through this, and reading this, remember, there are people out there who are willing to hear you out. They're willing to help you through this phase in your life.
Don't give up on yourself and your life. 
You aren't alone xx

 

Much love !

HNY !!

Happy New Year, to everybody!
 God bless each and every one of you!
I hope that this year, you accomplish what you want and gain abundant happiness.
And, if there's anything I could do to help, feel free to lemme know.
Have a blessed year.
Much love xx

That's a Wrap!

Well, it's the last sunday of the year, and the last few days of the year.
Umm... 
Let's get down to a few things.

First off, I'd like to take the opportunity to thank all the people who are my ardent readers, and who keep asking me to put up a blog post every now and then.
I apologize for not being regular. That shall most certainly change as i've started bringing a routine into my life.

Secondly, I'd like to think about all the lessons i've learned over the past 12 months.
A few favourite lessons are:

"People are temporary, unless they make an effort to stay."
"You find people who feel like family, even though they're miles away."
And, my personal favourite, "C'est La Vie".

I've learned recently about my new found happiness, that doesn't rely or dwell with society rules.
And, my mother is very supportive of my decision of not conforming to these rules.
So, a hearty Thankyou goes out to my mum <3

I've learned that, sometimes, you have to walk away from certain things or people, just to know if they're actually worth waiting for.

Also, i've learned that not many people understand your dreams. 
Even if it's your bestfriend, they may just call it a preposterous idea, and get you to stop following it.
Don't!
Follow your dreams. In silence. Remember, tomorrow, that friend of yours may become a stranger, but if you pursue your dream, you're bound to be happier. 
Nothing comes without fear or lessons learned. So, always take your chances, no matter what the odds.
Cuz, what's a life worth living, if you're not really living life?


And, finally, don't let the opinion of others, hamper your lifestyle in any manner.
People talk, a lot. But, like they say, "don't lose your sleep, over the opinions of sheep."
Sparkle, and shine bright.
God bless you guys with abundant happiness!
Here's to 2014, for all the lessons learned.
And 2015, to accomplish something meaningful.
Till next year, folks!
Amen. cheers xxx

Freedom

“Freedom means the opportunity to be what we never thought we would be.”

-Daniel J. Boorstin

To many people, the word “freedom”,means so many different things.

As I looked around a room full of people, whilst chewing down  a delicious vanilla tea cake, I figured I’d step into their shoes, and look at freedom through their perspective.

Among the 4 chosen ones, I started with the eldest.

An old man, aged about 84, sat across from where I was, sipping on a hot cup of coffee. I looked at life, through his perspective. To him, freedom was getting out, in the real world. Freedom was getting the entire Sunday off, and being able to spend it with his Grandchildren. It was getting out of the old age home, experiencing simple joys of life, with a little different sort of happiness. Sharing icecream with his Grand children, Soaking in the sun, Walking in the park with them, watching them play. And, ending the day, with nothing more than a simple cup of hot coffee, and a heart filled with sheer content.

The second person I chose, was a lady in her mid-forty’s. She sat quietly in a corner, reading a romantic novel, while I tried making eye contact. I couldn’t help but imagine the kind of freedom she yearns for. To her, Freedom would mean, getting time after seeing  her children off. Kissing her husband Goodbye. Getting done with the household chores. Reading a book, going out shopping with her mates. Freedom, was being on her own, and cherishing precious moments, with herself.

The third living being I chose, was a dog. Dog, a man’s bestfriend. And, this one, sat by his blind master. To him, freedom meant long walks, guiding his master, spending time with him. Dogs really cherish being with humans. So, being a vital part in a human being’s life, is the kind of freedom, every dog yearns for. It’s their little paradise. This little German Shepard seemed very content sitting by his master, and chewing on an succulent bone.

The last one, was a pretty little girl, aged about five.

To her, freedom meant pretty bubbles, crayons, balloons, and her loving family. She scribbled on a blank piece of paper, with not a care in the world. To her, freedom was the way she lived. Not being restricted. She quite enjoyed being able to do what she liked. And, the smile that she gave to her parents, was priceless.

So, what does freedom mean to me?

With my birthday around the corner, I realize my teenage years are coming to an end. A sense of happiness followed by stark realization, sinks in. Being a teenager, gives you a right of passage, to do whatever you like( Atleast, that’s what everyone tells you!)

According to me, age doesn’t define your maturity level. But, it takes a lot of time, to actually get down to understanding that.

Freedom to me, is when I’m wise enough to know that I’m allowed to do something, but maturity kicks in, and allows me not to.

Freedom isn’t like a bird. It can’t sore high whenever it feels like. It can’t take flight, as and when it wishes to.

But freedom, is when you know, instinctively, that you’re ready to take flight. Freedom, is having full confidence in yourself, to take a chance, and make a step!

Freedom, is being yourself, without a care in the world. Freedom, is dressing up, the way you like.

Freedom, is accepting yourself the way you are, and loving it!

“Expose yourself  to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.”